For The Love of A Woman
by thedoc617
Summary: What exactly did happen those three months while Mulder was dead (NOTE DSR)


Title: For the love of a woman   
Author: Doc  
Category: R, S, A  
Key Words: Doggett/Scully romance  
Summary: Two people, both of them hurting. Can they find comfort in each other?  
Spoilers: DeadAlive, post This Is Not Happening  
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Files characters.   
Dedication: To Didi, who just got back from Pennsylvania (hopefully with more than she left with)  
Note: Normally, I stick to MSRs, but this is a story that a friend challenged me to do, and I took her up on it.  
Archive: Sure, but please give me the addy, since I like to see where my stories are.  
  
  
Only a day after we found him, she returned home. She prepared the funeral and sent his body to Raleigh to be with his family. The funeral she was certainly trying to be calm, not allowing her feelings out. She kept her hands firmly on her belly, calming the child within her. Silent tears ran down her cheeks, and she was ashamed at them. Every once and a while, I heard her sniffle softly. Her mother was beside her. I don't know if Mrs. Scully knew Mulder or just how he affected her daughter's life. She made the eulogy, which was short and sweet. Halfway through it, she choked up and took a deep breath. Her eyes were filled with such pain.  
  
Only two days after the funeral, she came back to work. When I walked into the room and saw her there, I insisted she take more time. She looked at me, and said that she needed to work. That was agent Scully. Whenever she had something she just couldn't deal with, she dove headfirst into her work. She had been like that ever since I started working with her.  
"We have a new case, Agent Scully." I say, trying to sound like this is a normal day.  
"Oh really. Good, what is it?"  
I tell her that it's about a woman in New York City who was murdered earlier this week. We think that it perhaps was a ritualistic murder. She takes the file from my hand and reads it. She frowns slightly, and brushes the file off.  
"Mulder and I investigated that case a few years ago." She said as she saw something on the floor that fell out of the file. She bends down and picks it up. It seems to me to be a sunflower seed shell. She's tearing up now, and because of a sunflower seed? Strange, or should I say, spooky.   
"I guess Mulder was the last one to look at this case." She said, beneath the tears.   
"I'm sorry, agent Doggett. But..." she paused, and he could see her glistening eyes. The tears about to fall. From reputation he knew that she was nicknamed "The Ice Queen" and that nobody except Spooky could melt her heart. Now she was sobbing her heart out to a man she only knew for eight months, me.  
"Oh my god." She wailed. I thought there was something wrong with her baby so I rushed over there.  
"He's dead! Mulder's dead!" she sobbed, and rested her head on the nearest thing possible: me.  
When she did, I was surprised, but I did what any man would do in this situation. I hugged her, and comforted her. I didn't want to ever let her go. In that instant I realized something that scared me even more than finding Mulder dead. I realized that I was in love with her.   
  
  
I couldn't sleep a wink that night. I had way too much on my mind. I was in love with a woman who's former partner and is the father of her baby and the love of her life is dead. I certainly couldn't tell her now. We just had Mulder's funeral three days ago! What am I going to do? I keep asking myself over and over again when something interrupts my thoughts. It's my cell phone.  
"Hello?" I say, trying to sound casual.   
"Agent Doggett." I hear the voice of Agent Scully on the other line. She sounds so quiet as she speaks my name, almost whispering it.   
"Yes, agent Scully." I say.  
"Could you come over here please." She said, her voice almost pleading to me.  
"I'll be right over." I say as I hang up the phone. I could think of anything that might be wrong and I had my cell phone in one hand and my gun in the other when I got to her apartment.   
She was sitting on the floor, looking at a Sears catalogue.   
"Agent Scully, are you all right?" I ask as she turns to me and nods softly.  
"I was just going through some things from Mulder's apartment and I found this." She said as she turned to face me now. She looked at me with those big blue eyes of hers.  
"I can't decide." She said as she held up a baby catalogue. "I don't know the first thing about parenting, and I don't know the first thing about being a single parent." She said, as she put the large booklet down and hugged her knees. I thought that this would be the perfect time to intervene.  
"Is this seat taken?" I asked as she shook her head. I sat down and picked up the catalogue.   
"What about this one?" I ask as I point to a set of baby wear with teddy bears on it.  
"It's okay, I guess." Dana said as she shrugged.   
"What was it like being a parent agent Doggett?" she asked, and I certainly wasn't expecting it.   
"Well, you don't have your own life anymore, but when you stop and think about it, you never would have thought of any other life after the little one is born." I say, as she looks at me with such compassion.  
"I know when we found him, you wanted it to be different." I said, and in that instant I regretted it.  
"Yea well, I kept preparing myself for the worst case scenario, you know?" she asks as I nod.  
"But then when it happens, you never expect it. I can't believe I'm never going to hear one of his jokes, or see anymore of those annoying sunflower seeds around the office. And I'll have my own desk, but I don't want it anymore." She said, as she tried to fight off the tears.  
"I'm sorry Agent Doggett it's just..." she was at a loss for words.   
"You miss him." I finished for her. "Trust me, I know what it's like. I never told you this, but my son, Luke died when he was just ten years old. He was so young and so innocent." I said, now I was the one getting teary eyed. Dana put her hand on mine.  
"Well, then we both know what it's like to loose someone we love." She said as she went back to the box. She gasped this time as she carefully drew out a photo album out of the box.   
"I didn't know he had this." He said as she flipped through it. It had pictures of Samantha and he when they were little. Then towards the back, I saw a picture of she and Mulder. It looks like at the Bureau Christmas Banquet. Her eyes were glimmering with happiness then, with Mulder on her arm tipping her backwards in the tango.   
There was another picture of it looked like Dana and Mulder in some batting cages. Mulder was grinning from ear to ear and Dana was raising that left eyebrow like you couldn't believe.  
"That was my belated birthday present." Dana said, pointing to the picture. "I had never played baseball before, so he taught me how. "All in all, it cost him 40 dollars. And a very nice night after." She said as she looked at me as if she had broken the law. In her mind, she had broken the law by telling me one of the secrets the whole bureau knows.   
"You really loved him, didn't you?" I asked as she sighed long and hard.  
"Yes, agent Doggett, I did love him. I've loved him ever since that picture was taken." She said.  
"Did you say it first, or did he?" I asked, trying to be the person that made up for a girlfriend since I knew she didn't have anyone besides her mother.  
"Well, actually, he did. But he was drugged at the time." She said and for the first time she smiled. I hadn't seen Dana smile ever before.   
  
We talked long into the night. At the crack of dawn, I got up to leave, but something stopped me. She wouldn't let go of my hand.  
"Please agent Doggett. Don't go, I don't want to be alone." She said, her eyes pleading with mine.   
"All right, agent Scully." I said.  
"But since it's Saturday, we're not going to just stay in the house all day." I said as she looked at me, her eyebrow raised wondering what I had in mind. I was wondering the same thing.   
"Well, I know that the state fair is in town. Why don't we go there today. All this talking has made me depressed." I say as she thinks long and hard, then finally nods in agreement. I am going to show this woman the time of her life.   
We have so very much fun at the fair. We rode the Ferris wheels and ate cotton candy and cheap hot dogs. By the end of the day, we are both pooped.   
  
"Agent Doggett, this might sound silly, but..."  
"The only thing that's silly about it is if you don't say what it is." I say.  
"Could we go to the park? I just like gathering my thoughts there."  
"Sure, I do that all the time." I say as we start walking. I place my hand at the small of her back and she turns to look at me sharply. I can tell something is wrong, so I remove my hand.   
We get to the park and she sits on one of the swings. I take one right beside her.  
"I come here so often, especially with the baby coming and all. I guess I just forget about my problems here." She says, as she puts her hand on her stomach. I get up and stand behind her.  
"Do you mind if I push you?" I ask and she smiles; a true smile that I've only seen in pictures.  
"Actually I was just going to ask that." She says as I start pushing her like a little child.   
"Mulder and I used to do this a lot. I remember we came here when Emily died, just to look at the little children playing." She said, as I still pushed her. It felt good to touch her.  
  
We played on the swings for a little while longer, and then we took a long stroll next to the lake.   
"Let me see if I can still do this." She said, as she was about to pick up a rock.  
"You mean for skipping?" I asked as she nodded. She then went sideways and I ran (two feet in fact) to help her. She ended up in my arms.  
"Thank you for catching me." She said as I looked into her eyes and saw more than I did before. Her eyes were actually filled with happiness and pleasure instead of pain and grief.   
Then the most amazing thing happened. She leaned in and kissed me. It was the most magical moment in the history of working with the non-feelings, ice queen of the FBI. I honestly thought I died and went to heaven. But when I opened my eyes and the kiss ended, she was looking up at me with such desire.  
  
I'm not sure what happened that night, but I do remember waking up in a very strange place with nothing on. I look to my left to see Dana sleeping there by my side. Then my mind creeps back to last night. It was one of the most erotic moments in my life.   
She sees I'm awake and kisses my cheek.   
"Morning." She says as she rests her head on my bare chest.   
"Good morning, Agent Scully."  
"Oh good god, that's anything from what you were calling me last night. I think we have reached a point in our partnership that you can call me Dana." She said and I was honored. Even Mulder never got to call her by her first name.  
"All right, Dana." I said, the name sliding off my lips like Jello.   
"What's for breakfast?" I say as I smirk.  
"Well, let's just see." She says as she gets up and puts her robe on.  
"Does pancakes sound good?" she asks as I nod happily. I haven't had pancakes in a long, long time.  
  
I still remember a few weeks after we first well, were intimate she came to me with a serious question. One that (like before) was hard for her to tell me. I met her at the same coffeehouse that she and Skinner took me to when I had no idea about the pregnancy.   
  
"Agent Doggett, I need to ask you something." She said as she played with her hands. These days her waist was wider and her clothes were baggier. She was slowly starting to show signs of motherhood that I was so oblivious to a month before.   
"Okay, what is it?" I asked as she took a deep breath and went on.  
"You know that Mulder was the father of this baby, right?"   
"Well, I've had my doubts, but for the most part, yes." I said, trying not for it to sound obvious.  
"What I am trying to say is that to grow up happy and healthy and not doing drugs or something, this baby needs to have a father." She said as I looked at her strangely. This was the most wonderful, and the most confusing thing that somebody ever asked me.  
"You look just like Mulder did when I asked him to be a sperm donor." She said as she laughed.   
"Are you expecting us to get married or something?" I ask.  
"Well, not right now, but certainly would you move in, so you'd be there for him or her?" she asked as I smiled.  
"Agent Scully, I'd be proud to." I said as she sighed a sigh of relief.  
"Okay, daddy, where do we get started?" She asks as I shrug.   
"Wherever you want to, mommy." I say as I thank god for the perfect life He has put in my hands.  
  
  
  
Everything was just perfect, that is, until we found out that Mulder was still alive and dug him up out of the ground. I told the assistant director not to, because I knew that if he was alive, then I would loose the person that mattered most to me.   
He didn't care; he didn't even listen to me. I went with Mulder to the hospital and the doctors said that his tissue and organs were failing. Basically, he was breathing and his heart was beating, but his soul was too far gone. What was I going to say to Dana?   
I came out of the room to see her looking at her hands. She walked up to me, her hand on her belly.   
"I need to see him." She says in a whisper that I can barely hear.   
"I know. But I wish you wouldn't." I say, speaking right from my heart. Being the typical Dana Scully she is, she walks right past me and my eyes meet the assistant directors. His eyes say the truth; she won't be satisfied until she sees her partner.  
  
After the situation, I go to the park and sit on the swings. Bringing back memories of the past. 'The very first time that Dana and I kissed was right over there.' I thought to myself as I turned my head to the lake. And now it would be over, that is, if Mulder lived. And we would go back to the beginning if he died. Meaning more grief and more pain, on both our parts. I had to go back to see Dana. To see how she was handling this.   
  
I walked into the room to find Dana deep in thought as she had one hand clasped to Mulder's and one hand on their miracle inside of her. I shook my head softly.  
"You can't do this to yourself." I say, my concern for her my top priority.  
"You asked me not to come in here, Agent Doggett. I hope you're not asking me to leave." She says and I know I'm in the doghouse if she calls me by my last name.   
"It's just about your well being, Agent Scully. That's what it's ever for." I say, as her face looks almost surprised.  
She talked to me about the truth about what caused him to come back from the dead. Screw the truth, I want my Dana back and I want things to go back to normal.   
  
The next time I talk to her, we are arguing. That's what comes natural, with her being the believer in all this paranormal crap and me denying it all. Even when our relationship heated up, at work we have always been competitive. She walks away in a huff, and I promise myself that I don't care if I loose her. But for agent Scully to be happy again would mean the world to her, and to me. She was just getting over Mulder, and getting on with her life until this came along. 'Why have I suddenly started calling her Agent Scully again?' I ask myself, and then I realize that from this point on, she will always be agent Scully. She will never be Dana to me anymore.  
  
It's a race against time now. I see the man that I have read about in all those files. The assistant director tried to kill the most important equivalent to the whole conspiracy: Mulder. He said that Alex Krycek was going to kill Scully's baby if he didn't make a sacrifice. Listening to his story, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. He told me that there was a cure for Mulder's illness, but I'd have to pry it out of the hands of an enemy. Now, I was risking my life for the love of a woman.   
  
I see him in the car, and I race and fly into his car window, trying to make him stop. The next part is almost comical as I look back on it now. Half of my body was hanging out the car window. I got a couple of punches into the man before I lost my grip and saw what was coming so I let go. I hit the pavement with force, I hope I didn't break anything. That's it, I've killed Mulder. I thought, in defeat. And then I realize that I've been so selfish. All this time, I've been wanting for me, me, and me. I never thought about Mulder. We buried a man alive, who was clinging to life with a fingernail. Dana always told me that he was a fighter. And I had lost the last chance of ever letting him see his son or daughter take his or her first steps, first words, and know what it's like to love a child.   
Then I hear the black Mercedes back up. Maybe there was hope. I see the car again, and it stops almost right in front of me. The man gets out, and I see the amber fluid he's holding in his hand. That's the cure. The cure for Mulder; to make him live again.   
"Looking for this?" he says as he waves the bottle, most likely is testing me. I slowly cross to him, and I watch his hand loose the grip on the glass bottle and see all of Mulder's hopes and dreams fall to the floor. I give him my most hideous look. I look him in the eyes and see pure evil.   
As I walk up the stairs in defeat, my head is filled with many things. The one that most occupies it is what I'm going to say to agent Scully. How I'm going to tell her that Mulder just might not wake up and be on life support for the rest of his short, pain filled life?  
  
I enter the surgical bay, to find Dana working on him.   
"Is he going to make it?" I ask, hoping the news isn't too much for her to bear.  
"I don't know." She says, as I fear the worst.  
"I don't know how we could have known." She says as she smiles. I am more than a little bit confused.  
"What?" I ask.  
"By keeping him on life support, we were incubating the virus. We were hastening it along"  
"How'd you figure that out?" I ask,   
"When Skinner pulled him off life support, his temperature dropped rapidly without affecting his vital signs."  
"So skinner saved him?" I make out, trying to understand this fully she slowly nods. Then I worry about the events past.  
"What about the vaccine."  
"If we can stabilize him and his temperature we can give him courses of antivirals. I think it could work." She says as she is filled with relief. Well, it looks like agent Mulder is going to live after all.   
  
A few hours later, after I find out that I'm still on the x files, I enter Mulder's room. It looks like he is awake, with Scully crying on his chest. She looks up at me as if to say, "thank you." And I feel like I'm not supposed to be here. I close the door without another word.  
  
I am at the swings now, wondering how and why I let her go. I have my head down when I hear footsteps near me. I look up to see Agent Scully looking at me.   
"Is this seat taken?" she asks as I shake my head.  
"Agent Doggett, we need to talk." She says as I look at her solemnly.  
"Yes, we do." I say, as she takes my hand.  
"I don't want to hurt you, Agent Doggett, but I need to go back to the life I had before. Before Mulder was taken, we were a couple newly in love. And I'd like to start where we left off. But not before I come and straighten things out with you." She says, and I know what's coming.   
"You saved me those three months. I have absolutely no idea what I'd do if you weren't there for me. I will never forget the laughter and tears we shared. Thank you so very much for being my friend and supporting me. I don't even know why you risked your life to save Mulder. Most men in your situation would have let Mulder die because you knew what would happen."  
"I was going to do that, but then I thought of you. And I thought of Mulder. I thought of Mulder not being able to see his baby when he goes to his first baseball game, or when his daughter goes to the prom. No father would ever want to miss that." I said, as I saw agent Scully's eyes were filled with tears.   
"You'd do that for me and my family. Without anything for you?" she asked as she let the tears come. She held out her other hand and gave me the ring I'd given her a month ago, we were going to get married. I took the ring and put it back in her hands.  
"You keep it, agent Scully. It'll symbolize trust between you and I." I say as she smiles and kisses me on the cheek.  
"You're going to be our baby's uncle." She says as I smile too.  
"I'd be honored." I say as she gets up and walks away. As I watch her go, I realize that sometimes, the sacrifices we make are hard for ourselves but benefit those we love. For the love of a woman, I will always love her.   
  
  



End file.
